Fucking Samantha

Like our Keith Cuthberston, Neil Holt was a nondescript man; he was the sort of man people describe as 'average height, average weight, an ordinary coat, no unusual features. His face was round and innocent-looking, but this was belied by his attitude. He would never be noticed or remembered.He stood back to let us through. The house was well kept, tidy and clean. It was clear that Neil Holt, or his wife, was fastidious. He led us into the kitchen and thence out to an outhouse. We exchanged glances. An outhouse would be damp. Evidence would decay. But the room was dry and carpeted and there was an array of filing cabinets along one wall and a narrow table in the centre. We stood in a line against the other wall. Neil Holt stood by the cabinets."We believe you took these photos from CCTV tapes." Colin began, pulling the photos out of his briefcase, and placing them on the table. Holt examined them."I paid for the use of the tapes and copied them," Holt protested.Abruptly he seemed to. * * *I sat alone in my bedroom, staring at the Medallion in my hand. In frontof me was a universe of possibilities. I could do anything, be anyone. Icould upgrade my body, give myself the figure of a supermodel and theface of an angel. All it required was the will and the right wardrobe.It was so tempting. However much I resisted all that bullshit about awoman's appearance, since I'd turned female the pressure on me wasalmost tangible. I could not avoid the avalanche of ad images inmagazines, on billboards and TV. Slim women, perfect women withstatuesque figures and faces smoothed into flawlessness by PhotoShop. Itdidn't matter how conscious I was of it, how much I worked torationalize it away. It made me feel self-conscious of my looks, of mynondescript features, my sagging tits and my pear-shaped figure. Bodyfascism had gone to work on my soul.Of course the moral decision would be to reject the judgment of others.Accept myself for what I was, sags, hips, unsightly hair, cellulite.
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